Quick & Dirty Lasagne : All About That Olive

This dish might be my most popular. I don't recall the first time I started pouring olive juice in a lasagne, but once I did, I never stopped. The brine note adds something magical. Common tasting notes in fine Barolo include 'brine', so perhaps the link with the red wine / tomato flavour is more intuitive than one may think. This is why I call it my dirty lasagne. Just like a dirty martini, it's all about the olive.

Use instant pasta sheets. If you don't, you will spend 80% of your effort boiling hot wet sheets, which often taste like a wet book. Instant sheets are delicious since they cook 'in the sauce' and are much easier than playing around with fragile steaming sheets. Use this 80% effort to drink some wine instead.

Get a loaf baking tin, either ceramic or metal. It is perfect for a lasagne since it has the right depth for 4-6 people, plus it is the right share to take the rectangular pasta sheets. You can buy them very cheaply and it will be your friend for life. Trust me.

I recommend serving this with Chianti Classico. This is a terrifically good value wine. Some years ago, the small and exclusive region in the centre of Chianti lost a battle with the wider Chianti region, and the entire region was given DOCG status (the highest Italian wine ranking, previously held only by the small region in the centre). The wider area, promoted from DOC (the 2nd best) to DOCG (the best) put their prices up. But a concession was made to the original small and exclusive area : they were allowed to put 'Classico' on the label. It doesn't mean 'old', or 'matured'. It means it is from the former DOCG region, which are the best producers. So buy some Chianti, and make it 'Classico'. Same price, better plonk. For a few dollars more, get a bottle with some age on it. Chianti has quite high acidity (which is why it is a great food wine, cutting through proteins like meat and cheese). This acidity needs time to mellow. Five years old will taste a lot better than two year old.

INGREDIENTS

One pound of ground beef

Splash olive oil

Cup of mushrooms, sliced

Two regular red bell peppers, chopped (not spicy at all)

Two onions, chopped

Two garlic cloves, chopped

Heap tablespoon of paprika

Handful of fresh basil, chopped / heap teaspoon if using the dry herbs.

Generous salt and pepper dosage

Teaspoon of red chilli flakes (don't kill it : you can add more later, but you can't take 'em back)

1/4 cup of olive juice with a dozen olives, chopped

One jar of tomato pasta sauce of 750ml (I recommend Prego's Italian Sausage and Garlic)

1/4 jar or 100ml of Alfredo sauce (I recommend Bertolli Alfredo sauce with aged Parmesan)

One box of pasta sheets (I use Ronzoni : get the instant ones).

One glass of red wine (the Chianti Classico is ideal).

Handful of grated Parmesan cheese

Handful of grated cheddar

DIRECTIONS

1) Get oven to 325 F.

2) In a large sauce pan, over a med/high heat, put in the olive oil and cook the mushrooms, onions, peppers, garlic, paprika, basil, salt, pepper, red chilli flakes, olives, and olive juice. Saute until soft then add the beef.

3) Break up the beef with a wooden spoon and brown (approx five minutes).

4) When the mix looks ready, add the pasta sauce and the wine. Bring to the boil then take to a low heat and let things bubble for five minutes, reducing slightly.

5) Add the Alfredo sauce. Stir it up.

6) Using a ladle or large spoon, place a cup full in the bottom of the loaf-shaped baking dish you will be using. Coat the bottom then layer on two or three pasta sheets enough to make a layer). Put on two cups of the sauce, then add another layer of pasta. Ideally, you will use all the sauce, the baking dish will be 80% full, and you will have five layers of pasta (using a dozen or so sheets). Experience is key here (sorry, but it is a fact....if you want to get good you need to cook a lot).

7) Put the parmesan cheese on top, cover in tin foil, and place dish in the 325F oven for 30 minutes.

8) Crank the pan to 425F. Pull out the pan, take off the foil, and add the cheddar in a thin layer on the top. Nuke it for ten minutes to get that baked in flavour with a nice, slightly burned top.

9) After ten minutes, pull out the pan and let the whole thing sit at room temperature for ten minutes. This makes it much better : it is a more approachable temperature to eat, and it is more gloopy and viscous. This viscousity is the difference between a good lasagne and a writing-home-to-tell-your-mum-about-it lasagne. Don't avoid this step. Take your time and drink some Chianti.

10) Serve it up. I always add a few leaves of salad just to give some balance to the presentation. This is a heavy dish so don't give your model/actress/ballerina friends the same as your rugby/boxing chums. Go small on the portion sizes generally. An overloaded plate spoils appetites. You are much better off serving small, with more salad, and then offering more.

This is my most requested dish. I give it to you, quick and dirty, but with love.